How to make personal changes to combat mom guilt
I am convinced that it is unlikely for most moms to overcome mom guilt truly, myself included. It’s a constant struggle and mental battle for me as I juggle competing priorities. Mixing motherhood, career, entrepreneurship, kids’ activities, and other passions creates a continuous push and pull. Over there years, I have made changes to combat mom guilt as I navigate my motherhood journey. A part of this process is giving myself the grace to pivot. In today’s post, I will share what this looks like in everyday life.
“You don’t ever have to balance it completely. Motherhood is a constant struggle of a little more time there, a little more time here, and feeling a little but guilty all the time.”– Halle Berry
Each mom may experience feelings of guilt in different ways and during different seasons of life. By definition, guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined (Dictionary.com). Having to work long hours, displaying frustration, and much more can trigger mom guilt. The thing about guilt is that it can be real or imagined.
There have been times when I felt horrible about a situation only to discover that my children were in no way phased by what I perceived as wrong against them. Left unchecked feelings of guilt can burden the spirit. This is something I know from experience which is why I advocate and encourage mothers to identify the source of the guilt and work to overcome it.
The Grace to Pivot
Allowing ourselves the grace to pivot and adjust to internal and external circumstances is one way moms can overcome guilt. If a circumstance is contributing to undesirable feelings why not make changes?
Practical and Purposeful Pivots
There are things moms can do in a practical sense to adjust their routines and activities to help minimize stress. This includes making schedule adjustments to allow for more family time. This can be helpful if the source of guilt is a demanding professional or personal schedule.
On the far end of the spectrum, I know of moms who have taken sabbaticals or left their profession temporarily or permanently to allow for more focused time with their children. Some women who become mothers have difficulty bearing going back to work after children and it’s best emotionally to pivot.
Shake it up a bit
Get creative, mom! Don’t allow yourself to sit in uncomfortable feelings. Explore changes to the following areas of life to see if it offers some relief:
- Self-care routines (ie. type and focus)
- Allocated chores (ie. who does what)
- Household services (ie. frequency of cleaning)
- Get creative when celebrating accomplishments (ie. turn up a bit more)
- Increase prayer, meditation, and journaling (ie. focus on heart posture)
- Delegate non-motherhood activities (ie. free up time for family)
These are some simple yet impactful pivots moms can provide relief.
To Wrap it Up
I wish there was a secret recipe, formula, or framework for motherhood. Faced with this reality, it is up to each of us to navigate motherhood learning as we go. There are certain things one mom can glean from the next as well. It is my hope that this blog inspired you to pivot in small ways to combat mom guilt.