Building Community Beyond Your Inner Circle

Building Community Beyond Your Inner Circle: Mindset shifts and practical tips

There’s a hard truth we don’t talk about enough as it relates to our personal and professional relationships.  “Some of the people closest to you prefer you in the seasons where they can wish you the best, but aren’t prepared to see you actually walk into that ‘best.’ – Unknown. In other words, they’re comfortable cheering for you as long as your growth doesn’t outpace their comfort zone. For today’s blog, I’m sharing five mindset tips when you need to expand your close circle. In my next post, I will share three ways to navigate this reality and three ways to build relationships beyond your close circle. So make sure you are a blog subscriber…

A Hard Reality

I can only speak from my own experience and the patterns of others I’ve observed, so take the backdrop of the post with a grain of salt, should you choose. I will acknowledge that every relationship we navigate is different, shaped by personalities, history, and unspoken expectations. That said, there are practical truths we can all glean about relationships. One thing that I can say with confidence is that people will meet you at the level of their capacity, not yours. Once we realize this, we are better positioned to navigate our personal and professional relationships.

Change, success, and transformation challenge relationships because they shift dynamics. I’ve experienced a few major life changes over the last 3-5 years and as a result some relationships have fizzled, some have ended completely, and some have newly established boundaries. I’ve realized that when you grow, it may reveal others areas of stagnation, insecurities, or unhealed spaces. The weird thing about it is, they may still care about you as a person, but they may not have the capacity to genuinely rejoice with those who rejoice as the scripture tells us to do in Romans 12:15. Instead, they hold onto the version of you that felt safe, familiar, and unthreatening.

Building Community Outside of Your Close Circle

This is why building community outside of your close circle is needed. Coming from an introvert like me, you should take heed. Building new friendships or expanding my network takes a lot of mental preparation. Believe it or not, I am an extreme introvert, and I prefer a small, close circle. Life has taught me how to navigate beyond this tendency, so I know it’s possible for anyone.

Let’s be honest, who wants to be in spaces where wins are celebrated without side-eyes or silent resentment? Where your growth is seen as inspiring, not intimidating. Where people can say “I’m proud of you” and mean every single word, without needing to measure themselves against your progress. For example, when I completed my doctorate, I was met with a ton of sincere “congrats”. But there were also a slew of weird comments and disingenuous statements that made me feel diminished. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need fanfare; my confidence is sound. But it just revealed the hearts of some people who were around me.

One such comment that I will blog about in a separate post was “In the meeting, try not to sound like the expert”. Huh? I think the translation for this was, “I see you’ve learned a lot in school and are certified in your profession, but don’t outshine me”. This comment took me by surprise, to say the least, and I wish it were isolated, but as I stated above, people meet you at the level of their capacity.

Your Close Circle Doesn’t Have to be Discarded

I want to emphasize that you do not have to discard your current circle of peers, friends, and associates. It’s healthy to accept that not everyone will grow with you at the same pace. Some relationships will remain rooted in old seasons, and that’s okay. However, don’t let those roots hold you back from blooming in your new ones. Adding to your personal and professional community means intentionally connecting with people who share your values, believe in abundance over scarcity, and aren’t threatened by the evolution of others. It might look like joining professional networks, engaging in interest-based groups, seeking mentors, or even cultivating friendships with people you meet later in life who can love the present you and not just the past you.

5 Mindset Tips

Here are 5 mindset tips for someone realizing that not everyone close to them can celebrate their growth:

1. Release the Need for Approval
2. Separate Care from Capacity
3. Embrace Abundance Thinking
4. Expand Your Circles Intentionally
5. Stay Rooted in Your Why

First, it’s important to understand that not everyone will understand or support your next level. I encourage you to never shrink to make others comfortable. Your assignment is between you and God, not you and everybody’s opinion. Second, someone can genuinely care for you but lack the capacity to celebrate your growth. Recognize that their limitation doesn’t have to limit you. Their role in your life may simply shift as you evolve. Third, success is not a pie with limited slices, there’s enough for everyone. Make sure you surround yourself with people who believe that someone else’s win is proof that wins are possible, not a threat. Fourth, expand your circle. Actively seek spaces where your growth is expected and celebrated. Finally, when doubt or guilt creeps in because someone close seems uneasy with your growth, remind yourself why you started. Purpose is bigger than comfort.

Check out this blog for more tips on walking in your purpose:

Purpose Is Specific: Why Your Journey Deserves Intention

To Wrap it Up

At the end of the day, relationships are both a gift and a growth space. Some people will cheer you on wholeheartedly, while others may only be comfortable with the older version of you they once knew. That’s okay. What matters is that you continue to grow, expand, and place yourself in environments where your progress is celebrated, not questioned.

This is just the beginning of the conversation. In Part 2, I’ll share practical strategies for building new, life-giving connections beyond your inner circle. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it. Your next circle might be closer than you think.